Trump announces return to TV in reboot of Dukes of Hazzard


“Just’a good ol’ boy, Never meanin’ no harm.”

 

 President Trump today announced that he is taking on a second job as Boss Hogg in an upcoming reboot the 80’s TV show The Dukes of Hazzard.

 “Preparing for the role is the reason I’ve deliberately been putting on weight”

 said the President.

 

 
Boss Hogg will be given more sympathetic treatment than he was in the original series. The Duke clan will become the Hogg clan, with Trump as the beloved patriarch. 

“One of the few flaws I could see with the original was its disrespect for rich people”

said Trump in justifying the change. 

“The show will be an important way to convey my new Presidential role, a rich old man who is above the law and runs the county, or country for his own profit, while his children terrorize it by driving at high speed and blowing things up,”

said the President,

 “although I wouldn’t be surprised if Boss Hogg blows up a few things himself”.

 

To keep it all in the family, Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump will play Bo and Luke Hogg, while Ivanka will play Daisy.

 

“She’s got the boobs for it” bragged the President.



Sheriff  Joe Arpaio will play Sheriff Rosco Coltrane, Boss Hogg’s bumbling flunky.

“I just hope we can keep him out of jail” mused the President.




 The new show will bring back the General Lee, an American muscle car with a Confederate battle flag painted on the top, which arguably was the star of the show (closely followed in popularity by Daisy’s legs) .


 



 “The General Lee is an important symbol of when America was great, I mean the 1950’s and early 60’s, not the 1850’s, although those days had their points too.”
said the President thoughtfully. 

Despite the General Lee, Trump denied the show, either originally or in its new form, had racist overtones. 

“Its just Americans being Americans” said the President. It celebrates an America where there are Blacks and people of other colors working away and you hardly ever see them.” (the original show had a black character in about every seventh episode, frequently for shows of that era). 

Trump also said the show will strongly support law and order and the police, and will differ from the original show in eliminating “misunderstandings” between Bo, Luke and the police. .

“In the show, the entire Hogg clan will strongly support the local police as they do Boss Hogg’s bidding. They also will continue to honor the flag.”

 said Trump (although the flag may be Confederate). 

The antagonist role will be filled by a shadowy, inept organization called the “alt-left”. 

“Just look at the theme song and you’ll see the relevance to me and my Presidency” 

 Just’a good ol’ boy
Never meanin’ no harm.
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day he was born
Staightnin’ the curves
Flatnin the hills
Someday the mountain might get him
But the law never will
Makin’ his way
The only way he know how
That’s just a little bit more
Than the law will allow.
Just a good ol’ boy
Wouldn’t change if he could
Fightin’ the system like
a  modern day Robin Hood 

“Fighting the System, draining the swamp, while showing slavish devotion to a flag, the police and the military, that’s what the show’s all about” said Trump, wiping a tear from his eye. “Fighting the system is what people loved about the original show and what Americans love about me. It sure beats fighting the Viet Cong”. 

“I particularly like the line about a modern day Robin Hood. We all know that a modern day Robin Hood steals from the poor to make himself rich. That’s smart.  That’s the way to help the middle class, give them something to aspire to. “ 

Trump emphasized that the show, to be called The Hoggs of Hazzard (the Hazzard of Hoggs having been rejected for having ”negative overtones”) is a “top priority”. He predicted production will start “tomorrow”; so we can expect it in a few years, if ever.  



 

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